The... Might Get Arrested For This Post

I have just read an article stating that the Australian government have now banned any depictions of A-cup sized breasts in adult publications and films. Seeing that I am an Australian citizen, and I like smaller breasts, I am pissed off that I might get arrested for looking at a chick with smaller boobs. Seriously, what the fuck?

Also of note is that female ejaculation is also now banned because it is 'abhorrent'. I can't remember what that word means, and I cannot be bothered looking it up in an online dictionary, but I know that it isn't good. Is that essentially banning anything with Alisha Klass, because she squirts all the fucking time...

So yeah, fuck you Australian government! I like small boobs, and to prove it, there are some after the NSFW jump.

The... This Is The Wrong Future

I was watching a video on YouTube from 'Back To The Future Part II' right now, and an idea struck me on how they should do a sequel in the next few years if they so want to.

As most people know, the BTTF movies featured Marty McFly traveling from 1985 to various points in time using his friends time traveling DeLorean. One of the times that he traveled to was 2015, which we are nearly at. So... what were to happen when in the normal time frame, the 2015 of the second movie did not occur?

I'm pretty sure that the whole trying to set things right in the previous movies were all for naught if the future doesn't occur like it did, with hovercars, controlling the weather (or just being able to predict it really well) and funky future clothes... oh, and a Mattel Hoverboard.

The past has constantly given us false hope about the future. When I was a kid, I was guaranteed to be living in an underwater bubble city, or a moon-based bubble city, or a regular bubble city. But no, none of that.

Imagine how disappointed Marty will be when he sees the future of today. Bleak, un-vibrant clothes. Wars. No Cubs win over a Miami baseball team (who the fuck are the Gators anyway?).

His whole expectations of the future are gone out the window. Especially when he contracted Parkinsons Disease in the mid-90s. Really, the only thing they can do is another sequel.

Bring back Doc with a brand new DeLorean, and get him to enlist Marty to save the future by going into the past to correct whatever the hell made the future not happen how it was supposed to. I want freaking hoverboards, and games where you don't use your hands, and weird bottles of Pepsi that look impossible to open. And I want the real fucking Max Headroom damnit, not some cheesy imitation!

The... Mr Coco Part 2

I thought i'd write a second post about my recent video regarding the Late Night Wars, as it has become slightly popular the last few days. At present it has gone up to 130,000 views, mainly because it was put up on the Time magazine website in an article about the 10 best things about the war, and was the first entry.

I've noticed that there is also another translation video up (which I won't link to), that uses a few of the same ideas that I used, naming Conan as Coco and Leno as Lennon, but it does it really poorly. You can't see the text at most times because they chose to do the subtitles in white, without any stroke or shadow to it whatsoever, so when the screen goes white, you can't read at all.

The person who made it commented in the comments thread (when I saw it, they had made about 8 of the 13 comments themselves), that CNN "called" because they liked their video. But a quick search with their video title and CNN simply shows an iReport thing (which anyone can do, the trick is to get it vetted allowing CNN to use the item on air), where the person describes what they did.

You know, I hate to be a jerk, but saying that CNN called about your video and then all it is, is that you've just done some thing for a part of the CNN website that anyone can do... well, it's kind of bad form. Right?

That's like me saying that some porn website called because they liked my Auto Fellation challenge video and then all I did is post it on RedTube or something... well, that's bad form. It's the same sort of thing, isn't it?

The... Worst Porn I Had On My Hard Drive

I wanted to add this to my continuing series of 'worst porn', but to be fair... I already had this entry on my computer. So, this isn't an official entry to the series, but a side dish if you'd like to call it that. NSFW after the jump.

The... Worst Porn I Can Find Today: Part 8

Holy shit! I think I have found one of the creepiest pieces of porn I think I'm ever going to see.

Ask someone to name something that they are afraid of, and alot of people might happen to say 'spiders'. Well, how about watching a spider-lady thing totally fucking a dude, and blowing him and everything? Oh shit yeah, that's exactly what i've found. After the jump, and NSFW.

The... French Must Like Blowing Themselves

I was just taking a look at the videos i've uploaded to Youtube, and the statistics available from the insight thing. Well, it shouldn't really surprise me that the videos haven't really received that many views altogether, as I haven't really tried to advertise them.

One thing that I found odd is that the majority of viewers for my Auto-Fellation challenge video are from France. And i'm really not kidding whatsoever about that. Almost 70% to 80% of the viewers that have sat down, clicked on the video and watched me try to give myself oral gratification are French.

French people, you sicken me. Stop watching me with your dirty eyes and unkempt berets... my body is not for sale! :(

The... Mr Coco

For those following the whole late night stuff that is happening, you will now know that Jay Leno is being moved back to 'The Tonight Show' and Conan O'Brien has been paid roughly $30 million, and is allowed to move to another network, most likely being FOX.

Conan showed on his show a video that has popped up on the internet showing a Taiwanese news report (though it has been incorrectly attributed to the Chinese), where they have made a 3D re-enactment detailing the whole story of what is happening.

The problem is that it is in Taiwanese... so alot of English speaking people cannot understand it in the proper context of what it is, because it involves Conan turning into the Incredible Hulk, and other things of that nature.

Well, if you've seen the video and been wondering what it says, then don't worry about not understanding Taiwanese... as I have graciously translated it into English for the public at large.

My god that video is insane. I love it. I like the way that it is utterly insane, yet it completely tells you everything that you want to know about the situation... well, until it devolves into the respected parties turning into superheroes and fighting physically that is.

Update: So, the video is now around 60,000 views, easily making it my most popular video to date. It was only at about 11,000 yesterday when it suddenly got a massive jump in views. I've now found out that the views are mostly from Time.com, where it was featured in a 'Top 10 Moments from the Late Night Wars' segment and was embedded on the site instead of the original video.

So that is awesome. Thank you Time.

The... Spider-Man Is Dead

So the big movie news at the moment it seems is the fact that Spider-Man 4 has been canceled, and in it's place, a reboot which will see Spidey back in high school and showing us (again) how he gets his powers. Great.

I already saw that movie. It was called Spider-Man and it was only released less than a decade ago.

Anyway, i've noticed a few blogs and so forth going on that Sony might try to get James Cameron to do the reboot, and after him having both the number one and number two top grossing movies of all time under his belt, it isn't that stupid to be thinking of getting him.

Problem is if they even tried to, he most likely wouldn't accept as he has already given it a shot at making Spider-Man. As this article from Tech Land shows, a few of his storyboards have made their way on line. The article talks up some of the ideas for the movie such as Peter Parker being all aggressive because of his Uncle's death, and even going so far as to include a sex scene between Spidey and Mary Jane.

It seems that they only heard this third hand and don't really know much about it considering the article. You see, back in the early 1990's, Fox had the rights to Spider-Man and Cameron was approached to do the movie. He worked on it for a while and you can find his script treatment that he did out on the net. He came up with a multitude of ideas for the movie, and many people think that Raimi took alot of the ideas for the movie that he eventually directed.

This isn't true. In the first Spider-Man movie, only one idea apart from the core Spider-Man mythology stuck. Biological Web-Shooters. Cameron thought the idea that a rather ordinary teenager (he is, regardless of how intelligent he is) could not conceivably come up with a super-adhesive that mimicked spider webbing.

How could he create that shit? It's a stupid idea that he did so in the comics. The only reason it was in the comics is so they could create tension by having him need to reload a cartridge into a web shooter when he ran out. Especially when he is falling.

The idea to just have him develop biological web shooters was brilliant and it isn't any wonder why they kept it. I'm pretty sure they've even put it into the comics now, but I haven't read a Spidey comic for many years now, so I can't say.

Why didn't Cameron end up making the movie? Because of rights issues or something, I can't remember that well what happened. I believe that Fox eventually lost the rights to the movie, which were later picked up by Sony who went on to make the film trilogy. When he lost the chance to do Spider-Man (something that he had apparently tried to get underway a few times), he developed his own comic book like superhero, except he made it a superheroine... thus was born another reason that made it hard to find the awesome Dolph Lundgren movie... Dark Angel.

It is similar to how Sam Raimi, when failing to acquire the rights to make a movie about 'The Shadow', he decided to make his own superhero movie, and thus was born Darkman. The difference between Dark Angel and Darkman was that Darkman was actually good, whereas Dark Angel relied on Jessica Alba's body.

The... Worst Porn I Can Find Today: Part 7

In my town, there isn't much to do to occupy yourself unless you stay in and watch a movie or play a game or something. However, karaoke is pretty big in this town and so a few nights a week, some of the pubs will have a regular karaoke night.

I went out to one last night and along with my friend, we made people envious of our remarkable singing ability. Sorry, I lied... we can't sing for shit, but people are still somewhat in awe about our singing, because we just act like complete dickheads and make it entertaining for the crowd when we get called out for our turn.

But i'll leave the details about karaoke and my abilities to rock the socks off of people's cocks... another time. Right now, you're here for some bad porn... the worst porn I can find today.

And oddly enough, I didn't find this... I took the photo. You see, the reason why I opened this post with the whole karaoke spiel is the fact that last night, I ended up taking a photo of a local chick who was getting her boobs out. She is known in town as 'Mudbucket'... apparently because fucking her is like fucking a bucket of mud. But yeah, she's fucking horrible... so without further ado, the picture is after the jump and is NSFW.

The... Worst Porn I Can Find Today: Part 6

Sometimes you stumble across things that are horrific in nature, and make you want to cut out your eyes.

Today's porn that I found is like that.

Take note that I wasn't actually looking for anything for this segment, and just stumbled across this. It isn't a video and is just an animated gif, but i'm pretty sure that if I looked hard enough, I could find the full movie. I don't want to look for the full movie though because it looks bad enough as a short animation.

Since it is NSFW, it is after the jump.