This morning, I awoke to an odd sight. The world outside my window was all red and there was an eerie calm, like being in the middle of the eye of a storm or something. I figured that the red was just fog and the sunlight from a sunrise was making it that colour…
…little did I know, that it was really the Apocalypse.
Imagine that!
That is a photo of just outside my front door. Creepy as all fuck.
Well, my first article for another website has been published. It is about a subject near and dear to my heart, a subject of which I have self-appointed myself as a deity. That subject is of course… alcohol.
I'll be writing a bit more for the site when I have the time to do so, and it will all be about alcohol… so if you are a fan of the subject, you will like what I have to say. Or at least, I hope so.
I was trying to think of something for today's GIS, and I just started throwing random words together. That is when I came up with the search term for today… which is 'monkey jesus'.
Why is it that? Why not?
MONKEY JESUS
monkey jesus: I wonder if he is going to let the ATHF swim in his pool.
George Michael – Jesus To A: Sweet monkey jesus! It's the dude from Wham and those toilets!
This is not about Jesus: What the hell is the deal with this drawing? Are the other monkeys scared of the Monkey Jesus or something? It reminds me of communist propaganda or something.
Monkey Jesus smooches Shelly: The chick in pink reminds of that girl from Lazy Town… and yes, I would probably fuck her.
"Jesus said: I have cast fire: I want to hear the rest of the monkey assassin's bible quote.
I think that will probably do for today. There are still a fair few strange ones that I missed.
People have a tendancy to change their names for one reason or another. For a while, I thought that the greatest name that anyone could ever changed theirs to was ‘Optimus Prime.’
The person that chose that name was a NY Firefighter who claimed that Optimus Prime was like a father-figure to him… whatever.
But now, that man has been beaten.
Meet Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov…
Good work dude… i’m pretty sure you’ll never get laid.
So, I was walking up the road to get a copy of todays newspaper when for some reason I began to think of the 90's tv show, Sliders. You know the one, the fat kid from 'Stand By Me' is an uber-genius and discovers a method to travel between parallel worlds that he ends up calling 'Sliding'.
Anyway, I was thinking about the whole premise of the show, that they're trying to get home after the sliding thing goes wrong causing their device to open a portal at intervals of differing times. So one world they might have two days to wait, or another might be as little as two minutes.
The first episode of the second season ended with them landing on a world that could possibly be theirs after receiving it's coordinates from an alternate fat kid, and they had about a minute to discern whether they were on their world or not. The newspaper in the letterbox doesn't give any clues, as on this world OJ Simpson was tried for a double murder, the Raiders are playing out of Oakland and the Cleveland Indians actually made the World Series.
Could that much have happened since they left? Well, gee, I don't know. Maybe they need something more tangible to figure out if they are on their world.
So, how did they try to figure out if they were on their world? Well, you see… the front gate of the fat kid's house was always squeaky on his world. And luckily, they arrived out the front of his house. Take a look:
For those that couldn't be fucked watching it, i'll explain. He tests it out… and alas, it isn't squeaky… which means… this can't be their world.
They decide to slide on. After they've slid away, his mother walks out with the gardener who shows her that he has fixed the squeak with a bit of oil.
Wow.
They just moved on from their world because they couldn't really be fucked to check for anything else apart from a fucking gate. This seriously was one of their major tests throughout the show as to whether they were on their own world or not.
"Is the gate squeaky?"
If the gate was squeaky, they would usually try to settle into "their" lives until they realise that something isn't right… like the President is a Nazi, or something along those lines.
One thing that I find a bit stupid, is the fact that they just keep sliding like it is their only way to get home.
Why doesn't the fat kid who is an uber-genius who invented the intra-dimensional sliding system in his fucking basement sit the fuck down on a really good world, and build a new fucking device? He surely must be able to build it again, seeing as he could have the resources of a rich blues singer at his disposal, and he has the fucking Professor along with him to give him a hand.
Not to mention… he might have a parallel version of himself who could offer a hand with building the fucking thing.
Really. Why the fuck slide?
