What the fuck is it with the current generation of internet browsers? First off, Firefox has turned into a piece of shit that is so unstable that you can't go one minute without it crashing… and now Google Chrome is giving me Blue Screens of Death on a regular basis.

What the fuck?!

It looks like i'm going to go back to Opera for now. I haven't used Opera since I stopped regularly using an old Pentium 1, 90Mhz computer years ago. I'm not too sure what it is capable of at the moment, except that I know that it is probably the fastest browser around. ARRGGGHHH!

I just want to download porn! Is that too hard to ask?! Hardcore midget amputee pornography!!! ARRRGGHHHH!!!

I have only just read about a ten year old Australian girl who had what I suspect to be the shittiest life ever. Even worse than Frank Grimes. Seriously… Grimey had nothing on this little girl when it came to the so-called God shitting on them from the clouds. His life is comparable to Homer Simpson's in how awesome it was compared to hers.

Okay, here's the list of shitty happenings in her life:

1. Her mother abandoned her at birth, leaving her with her father.
2. She developed bone cancer before the age of five. Not sure when exactly, but I know it was before five because…
3. …she had to have a leg amputated at the age of five because of the cancer.
4. After beating the bone cancer, she developed tumors in her lungs.
5. Because of chemotherapy, she became partially deaf, needing hearing aids.
6. Her father eventually uprooted her from her stable family life, and moved her to North Carolina to be with a woman he met online.
7. Her father and now step-mother are both in court over numerous bad cheques and fraud.
8. And finally, the little girl was hacked into pieces and buried in a shallow grave…

…what? That's right. After all the shit that had happened to the little girl, people cannot say that there is a god. What fucking god would allow such fucking punishment happen to a fucking child like this? This is sickening.

It is seriously like a n extremely bad written episode of the Simpsons where to show how good Bart and Lisa have it compared to other kids, they bring on those orphans. The ones that looks like they're out of Oliver or something, and are trying to collect money to fix the roof and walls of the orphanage or simply for food. The ones that start coughing and then reassure others not to worry, that it is only the asbestos in their lungs.

Note: I began to write this when I came home from drinking the other night. I ended up leaving it as a draft though, because I was fucking tired as all hell.

So once again, after drinking a fair amount, I am still not drunk.

But I have a slew of random things that me and my friend Matty came up with… and it is mostly in regards to what the reaction of a prostitute would be if you asked her to do various strange things. Some of these strange things, for example are:

1. Making her get naked, then get into a full body costume, then dance whilst you sit and watch 'Weekend At Bernies'. She also has to keep dancing until the movie is finished.
2. Forehead fuck her. Do nothing but rub your penis back and forth over her forehead for an hour without having an orgasm and then pay her and leave.
3. Hold up a Barbie doll and constantly compare it's anatomy with the prostitutes, getting angry because they aren't the same.
4. Ask her to do something really dirty, and if she refuses, wet yourself… walk off in a huff, and complain to any other possible "customers" about what she did.
5. Make her sit down with you to watch a looping video of MacGyver escaping a room only to find himself trapped again in that same room… all whilst eating Corn Flakes.
6. Have sex with her, but keep assuring her that you will not kill her afterwards.

I'm sure there are more things we discussed, but if there were, I cannot remember them. Too bad because I was crying most of the time we were there. It was hilarious.

I have just sat down and begun to have a drink of Woodstock Bourbon & Cola, because I don't have my kids for the second time in two months. Me and my old drinking buddy have decided to go out tonight and drink it up, and it has got me reminiscing about the good old days of my youth.

How sad is it that I am reminiscing about my youth, when I am only 25 years old? Very.

At one point, I have to admit that I used to be a massive drunk when I was younger, and at one point in time, I was drinking heavily every day for about four months from just after lunch to way past midnight. Hell, it usually took me the entire time to actually get drunk because of my high tolerance to alcohol. 

The rest of the time, I was either sleeping, or sitting on IRC whilst coping with a hangover and talking to friends from overseas. I wish I had the old chat logs still, they were classic, especially the time I feel asleep and my head rolled around on the keyboard for about two hours. This point was also the time when I created a few games that were meant to be completely stupid, and which received scathing reviews from anyone who didn't get the point that I didn't give a fuck.

But those days are gone. I can still drink massive amounts and not get drunk, but the occasion to do so is very rare. The bad thing for me is that I cannot stomach beer, leaving me to drink nothing but spirits. I wish I could drink beer, but haven't be able to physically stomach it since I was about 17 when I drank an entire case by myself at a party.

It is amazing how things can change once you become a father, and your life changes socially. You can't do shit. Either it is because you need to take care of the kids, and you don't have anyone to babysit… or it is because you are almost flat broke because of paying for things that the kids need.

I don't mind doing the whole dad thing, but sometimes I wish I could just go out at a moments notice, and get absolutely fucking hammered.

I like boobs, and like a majority of the internet users in the world that are male, I like celebrity boobs. Because of this, I have a habit of checking out a blog that posts videos of celebrities naked on occasion. Most of the videos come from movies and television shows, and they are of noteworthy actresses. It also doesn't rely on recently released movies either, as it has videos from older movies, as well as some foreign movies.

So it came as a shock today that I saw it's latest update was from the first season of 'The L Word', which was a television series about lesbians (wooh!). It's not a shock to see this… but the fact that the first post made me wince.

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