I made a video the other day that i've now posted on YouTube, where i'm going off about some scenes in the American Ninja movies. I had been meaning to do the video for a while, and even took the scenes from the movies I talk about and show a fair while ago now, but never got around to actually doing the other bit because my microphone was fucked.

In the end, I ended up just filming myself with my phone and put it together with the footage. Hopefully it will get as popular as my last video, but I doubt it will. Ninjas don't seem to be as cool these days in the interweb. Take a look below.

So the big movie news at the moment it seems is the fact that Spider-Man 4 has been canceled, and in it's place, a reboot which will see Spidey back in high school and showing us (again) how he gets his powers. Great.

I already saw that movie. It was called Spider-Man and it was only released less than a decade ago.

Anyway, i've noticed a few blogs and so forth going on that Sony might try to get James Cameron to do the reboot, and after him having both the number one and number two top grossing movies of all time under his belt, it isn't that stupid to be thinking of getting him.

Problem is if they even tried to, he most likely wouldn't accept as he has already given it a shot at making Spider-Man. As this article from Tech Land shows, a few of his storyboards have made their way on line. The article talks up some of the ideas for the movie such as Peter Parker being all aggressive because of his Uncle's death, and even going so far as to include a sex scene between Spidey and Mary Jane.

It seems that they only heard this third hand and don't really know much about it considering the article. You see, back in the early 1990's, Fox had the rights to Spider-Man and Cameron was approached to do the movie. He worked on it for a while and you can find his script treatment that he did out on the net. He came up with a multitude of ideas for the movie, and many people think that Raimi took alot of the ideas for the movie that he eventually directed.

This isn't true. In the first Spider-Man movie, only one idea apart from the core Spider-Man mythology stuck. Biological Web-Shooters. Cameron thought the idea that a rather ordinary teenager (he is, regardless of how intelligent he is) could not conceivably come up with a super-adhesive that mimicked spider webbing.

How could he create that shit? It's a stupid idea that he did so in the comics. The only reason it was in the comics is so they could create tension by having him need to reload a cartridge into a web shooter when he ran out. Especially when he is falling.

The idea to just have him develop biological web shooters was brilliant and it isn't any wonder why they kept it. I'm pretty sure they've even put it into the comics now, but I haven't read a Spidey comic for many years now, so I can't say.

Why didn't Cameron end up making the movie? Because of rights issues or something, I can't remember that well what happened. I believe that Fox eventually lost the rights to the movie, which were later picked up by Sony who went on to make the film trilogy. When he lost the chance to do Spider-Man (something that he had apparently tried to get underway a few times), he developed his own comic book like superhero, except he made it a superheroine… thus was born another reason that made it hard to find the awesome Dolph Lundgren movie… Dark Angel.

It is similar to how Sam Raimi, when failing to acquire the rights to make a movie about 'The Shadow', he decided to make his own superhero movie, and thus was born Darkman. The difference between Dark Angel and Darkman was that Darkman was actually good, whereas Dark Angel relied on Jessica Alba's body.

I've just finished watching Avatar, and have to say that the movie is pretty good and that is from watching a shitty copy that some dude filmed in a cinema in Germany. The special effects are great, the story is good, and the action is some of the best that James Cameron has put to film.

One thing that I don't understand though is that with all the realistic special effects that they made for the movie, they couldn't seem to create any realistic moving fabric for the loincloths of the Na'vi.

I know that sounds weird, but think about it.

You have these realistic depictions of this alien race, from head to toe, they are remarkably lifelike. The entire world that was created for the movie is living and breathing, and you could be mistaken to think that this entire world actually exists and Cameron just went there to film.

But then, the shit that the Na'vi wear doesn't really move off of their bodies. The loin cloths of the dudes don't move away from their junk which it would in real life, and especially with all their flying around and going at weird angles and shit. I mean, come on.

And then the women have all these ornamental things covering their boobs, and they don't move off of their tits at all. Seriously… watch a documentary with some African tribes people in it, and tell me how fucking well their ornamental shit and loincloths stay attached to their bodies. The picture below is the closest you probably get to see of any tit (you can sort of see her nipples), but when it gets closer, you see it is all just ornament shit.

If you're gonna make everything so fucking lifelike, then how about some tit? Hmm?

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you might have read about the movie I consider to be the greatest movie ever (which I have still not managed to watch), simply because of the title and the DVD cover: that movie being of course, Mega Shark VS Giant Octopus.

Well, there is also another movie out there in the wilderness of crappy B-grade movies that features a large shark that is infamous across the internet because of it's cheesy special effects. And when I mean cheesy, I mean fucking cheesy! Take a look:

What I find remarkable about Shark Attack 3: Megalodon is the fact that I spotted John Barrowman as the lead character, Ben. For those that might not know who John Barrowman is, he is the actor that portrays Captain Jack Harkness on both Doctor Who and Torchwood.

Really. And he perhaps has the greatest line in any movie… ever!

I want to see Captain Jack go up against a shark now. Let's see if he can survive being eaten by a shark. And whilst we're at it, make it a giant prehistoric shark. That would be an awesome show to watch.

I have just spotted a 'Top 14 Fake Movies from Real Movies' list over at filmcritic.com. You know, movies that the filmmakers come up with for characters in the movie or television show to see that don't actually exist in real life. An example would be the Space Mutant movies from the early seasons of 'The Simpsons'.

Anyway, I immediately went through it to spot if a certain movie made the list. Which it didn't. How could you do a list like this without listing 'The Night The Reindeer Died' from the immortal Christmas tale, Scrooged?

UPDATE: At this point in the original post, you could watch the fake trailer for this movie. But it has been taken down from YouTube and I cannot find a different copy. Once I do, I will put it back up here.

How the hell did that not make the list? It has everything:

1. Santa.
2. Elves.
3. Terrorists attacking Santa's workshop at the North Pole.
4. Lee Majors (the Six Million Dollar Man!)
5. Lee Majors blowing terrorists away with a mini-gun!

What the fuck were the people who wrote that article for filmcritic on? How could you be working for a site like that, and not list this classic fake movie from one of the better christmas movies of the last few decades, starring Bill Murray who was in his critical and box office prime at the time?

It's fucking bizarre.

My brother was in town the other week, and I showed him a large array of weird shit I had managed to find online and elsewhere, whilst he showed me what he had managed to find online and elsewhere. It is this thing we do, as we have similar senses of humour and both have the ability to find some weird shit.

For example, my previous post about the greatest movie ever made, Mega Shark VS Giant Octopus? Little did I realise who the leading lady was in the movie until my brother pointed it out to me when I showed him the trailer.

Debbie 'fucking' Gibson!  For those that have no idea who that is, she was a teen pop-star in the 1980's around the same time as Tiffany and Debbie Debb. She did nothing after the 80's ended, until Tiffany decided to get naked for Playboy in the 2000's… and so Debbie Gibson followed suit, and got naked for Playboy a few years later. (link to both, wooh)

My god! This movie is even more awesome than I originally conceived!

The other day, my girlfriend went and hired a heap of DVD's out from the local video store, and managed to select the greatest movie ever. And typical of my somewhat hectic scheduling regarding my kids, I didn't get a chance to watch it.

What is the movie?

I defy anyone to say that the movie isn't awesome just from the title and the cover alone. That is brllnt!

I am really disappointed that I didn't get a chance to watch it. I might hire it out again, so I can watch it… because judging from this trailer I found on YouTube, it is all kinds of utter retardedness, and I must watch.

httpvh://www.youtube.com/v/Fa7ck5mcd1o